30 Of The Most Savage Things God Has Said On Twitter

If you didn’t know just yet, God is on Twitter. The Almighty has over
6.1 million devout fans eagerly awaiting His latest posts while He
Himself follows only one account—Justin Bieber’s. The parody
account is full of hilarious jokes and witty comments that will 
make you laugh and raise your spirits…except if you are easily offended by a bit of off-colour language and a suggestion of heresy 🙂

We’ve collected some of the best tweets posted by God for you to enjoy, so scroll down, have a read, and upvote your favourite ones.

And in case you were wondering why your prayers might not be working this month, God has stated that He is “taking time off” to write His newest testament while on a ‘workation’ on the planet Bethselamin (from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy).

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Why? When you passed out ‘brains’, too many people thought you said ‘trains’ and took the next one.

 

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Don’t worry, though, the creator of the parody account has stated that God will be back “angrier, wittier, and more ineffective than ever” once September starts. Just in time for the new school year! “In My absence, no one is in charge,” God added.

The man behind The Tweet of God account is David Javerbaum from Los Angeles. He explained why the account he manages follows Bieber by saying, “From what God told me, he only follows close family members. That’s all I could get out of him.”

David is always in character, even when talking to the press. He maintains the appearance that he works for God and that he’s His social media manager. David started the account in 2010 while working on a book called ‘The Last Testament: A Memoir by God.’ One year later, he published the book and, ironically, people thought it was copying off the Twitter account.

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Eventually, David was approached to turn his Twitter account into a Broadway play. Which resulted in The Act of God which went on for two summers all over the world.

In case you want to reach David and talk to God, don’t hold your breath. “God replies to tweets exactly as often as he replies to prayers from other people,” he said.

God’s rival Satan also had a similar parody Twitter account. However, due to a change in Twitter’s content policy, the Prince of Darkness got banned. Though the two accounts are quite similar, they weren’t created by the same person. And in the fight for our everlasting souls on social media, God came out victorious in the end.

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However, The Tweet of God account has been through some ups and downs. Five years ago, God’s account got hacked which made David quit Twitter for a year and a half. The account also got banned twice. However, the account’s still going strong. Mainly because of how much potential for satire there is in the world.

“The only time there would be no material for satire will be in a perfect world. And I don’t see that coming any time soon. I do think that if it were a perfect world, my [in]ability to make fun of it would be a small price to pay,” David told The Hindu.

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An open, virtual door to the world